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12.26.03 ~
And His Elf-sword, too! You all knew it was coming, and here it is. If you have not read the books or seen the movies and don't want one or both spoiled for you, go away. Right then. Let the purist Tolkien-freak whinging begin! Glaring Omissions: 2.
The romantic subplot concerning Eowyn and Farimir is gone without a trace,
to my great surprise and chagrin. After making such a big deal out of the
Aragorn/Arwen/Eowyn love-triangle-of-doom, I thought that the filmmakers
would want to make sure they resolved the issue of Eowyn's unrequited
affections for Aragorn. However, the relationship that grows between her
and Farimir during their convalescence in the Houses of Healing is very
much absent. This makes me sad, and also a little miffed, because I think
it is a bit much asking an audience to believe that after all that time
stalking His Scruffiness, Eowyn is suddenly okay with watching him snog
elf maidens right in front of her. Again, what about all the people who
haven't read the books? Also, I dearly wanted to see the kiss shared
between Eowyn and Farimir as they stand in the wind on top of the city
walls. It is such a beautifully worded passage in the book ("and a
great wind rose and blew, and their hair, raven and gold, streamed out
mingling on the air") and would make such a romantic moment
on-screen, it seems a crime to pass it up. Me: No
Houses of Healing! No Eowyn and Farimir! I have been robbed! 3. Sam's time bearing the Ring is almost completely passed over. His decision to take the Ring and carry on the quest alone is not even shown, and the three seconds of screen-time when he is actually holding the Ring are spent mostly in showing how he is tempted by it, which is upsetting. As the only ringbearer to carry the thing for any amount of time without being corrupted by it, I think he deserved a lot more than that. Again, I feel robbed, as Sam's bearing of the Ring is one of the places where he really gets credit for his strength of character. As it is, there is nothing to suggest what is very obvious in the book: the only reason that Sam would ever keep the Ring is because he wants to help Frodo. The whole moment where he relinquishes the Ring in the movie is almost an exact negative of the same scene in the book. In the movie, it appears that Sam is being tempted to keep the Ring, and Frodo is the one using a very calm, reassuring voice to get him to give it up. In the book, Sam is the one trying to placate Frodo when he suddenly snarls his demand: "Give it to me! Give it to me at once, you can't have it!" 4.
Perhaps not as glaring as the rest, but still missing in action is the
Mouth of Sauron. The moment when the company of the West are shown the elf
cloak and mithril shirt taken from Frodo is a big thematic moment. The
fact that Aragorn and the rest of them all fight that last battle despite
the fact that they believe that Frodo has been killed and the Ring
returned to Sauron is crucial for me, and underscores one of the biggest
themes of the books: Despair is not an option simply because you can never
know for certain that there is no hope. Eowyn
(during show-down with the Witch King): Theoden
(during his death scene):
Squicky Additions: 1. Denethor is weird! First they make him into a rather gruesome bad guy who makes very nasty sounds while eating, then he is a blubbering lunatic. Neither of these is all that close to the very complicated character in the books. His perceived nobility is trashed by Gandalf who repeatedly hits him with things (bad Denethor! Bad!). This is not even to mention his rather undignified suicide which I hated not only because it was a very odd departure from the cannon, but also because it made me laugh in spite of myself. 2. Frodo does several inexplicable things which are painfully out of character. I think he was responsible for the fact that I was pretty much permanently stuck in the Squick Zone throughout most of the movie the first time I saw it. First he lurches strangely toward Minas Morgul, presumably compelled by his knife wound, in what is obviously supposed to be a suspenseful moment. However, the image of something so closely resembling an undead Hobbit Zombie came far too close to the comical and ruined the moment for me. At the Cracks of Doom, Frodo gets up after having his finger bitten off and tries to wrestle the Ring back from Gollum, instead of simply collapsing in relief. I blame Gollum, who was supposed to teeter into the lava almost immediately after finally getting his hands on his precious, and instead stood there looking at it for minutes on end. The departure from cannon here was one of the most irritating to me, as I always found everything in that passage of the book to be of sacred importance. Even the exact words that Frodo uses the moment before he puts the Ring on (not present in the movie) seemed important to me: "I do not choose now to do what I came to do." I always felt that it was very telling that "I do not choose to" was used instead of "I choose not to" implying an absence of free will in Frodo's final decision to put the Ring on. And so of course, the whole thing is truncated to "The Ring is mine!" and Frodo goes very creepy and evil there for a second. (Besides which the little wrestling match between Frodo and Gollum was another moment that was somewhat marred by the fact that it involved a diminutive person in suspenders, which is Just Not Threatening.) Last (and worst) of all, Frodo tells Sam to go home!!! How cruel can you be to put your characters and your audience through something like that? I realize the motivation for having that whole moment (upping the emotional ante, as it were) but I feel that it was unnecessary, that it did not work, even as a convincing movie moment, and anyway it made Sam cry a lot, and he already does more than enough of that as it is. I spent the duration of the scene doing a marathon cringe. 3. Speaking of which: not really a huge addition like those mentioned above, but I would just like to say that I do not remember Sam crying quite so much in the books. Or maybe he did, but it was much more spaced out between pages of other stuff and mixed in with more happy moments and so less noticeable. In any case, for the purposes of the film, I think that if Sam had only really wept when he thought that Shelob had killed Frodo and at the very end just before the two hobbits are saved by the Eagles, that would lend a lot more power to those tears. As it is, they are a much diluted gesture, as Sam seems to spend most of this last movie weeping. (No need to mention that if the whole sending-home-of-Sam scene were to be removed, this issue would be much closer to being resolved) 4. Arwen is dying because of....what? She will die unless the Ring is destroyed. Well, duh! So will everyone else! But why is she suddenly wasting away because of Evil? I failed to see the reasoning for adding such an odd twist to the plot. The fate of the world already hangs in the balance, but apparently that is not enough, and we must through Arwen's health into jeopardy, as well. Hookaaaay, whatever you say, Agent Elrond. 5. Again, not a really big gripe, but it is very difficult to feel much sorrow for a supposedly dead Frodo when he is mostly mummified in (perhaps overly-gooey) spider-thread, and looks as though the make-up artists had the day off. If I remember correctly, Sam un-mummifies Frodo before getting down to any real grieving, and I would have really preferred that. Also, Sean Astin drops Elijah Wood's head very unceremoniously to the ground when he gets up to hide from approaching orcs, and I find this most out of character. Anyway, it made me cringe again, and I was doing that enough already. 6. Where did the Pink Orc come from? Did I miss a chapter of the books that mentions the infamous cancer-ridden orc chieftain? Me:
Dude, what is this guy's story? 7. Why is Gandalf in charge of Minas Tirith? Since when is he any kind of military leader? I realize that since Prince Imrahil and the knights of Dol Amroth are sadly absent (a pity, as their presence would have occasioned even more attractive actors with elvish good looks) that the command of the city is in question, but did it have to be Gandalf? I really would have preferred it to be someone other else, as he always shunned such responsibilities in the books. While his is obviously the biggest gun in the good guy camp, he never takes control of any group larger than the Fellowship itself, his function being that of a counselor and advisor rather than that of a captain. +++++ All that said, I really did enjoy the movie (more so the second time I watched it after I had gotten used to the idea of all the above mentioned departures from cannon.) I will freely admit that the movie was not at all without Redeeming Virtues: 1. Shelob! Shelob kicked Aracumantula ass! I defy anyone to say that they didn't hold their breath during the sequence when Shelob skulked overhead while Frodo bobbed around oblivious below. The Captain was actually squirming in his seat next to me. The last offspring of Ungoliant was truly breath-taking in her scariness. 2. Despite it's having no basis that I know of in the cannon, the moment where Frodo swoons and has a vision of Galadriel, who helps him to his feet, was really quite nice. Cate Blanchet rocks my socks. She is such a perfectly stunning Galadriel, and I loved the way that little moment sort of renewed the bond that the two characters had for a moment in FOTR. Very cool. 3. The Paths of the Dead were quite appropriately spooky and mist-laden. I must say that the Dead Army in the book always impressed me as this host of more-or-less healthy human beings, but grey and stretched and maybe a bit transparent At any rate I expected them to be more ghost-like than the Radioactive Cursed Pirate Army in the movie. However, the Dead were still undeniably cool, despite not meeting my preconceptions. The way is shut. Arr! 4. Theoden's pre-battle speech was very stirring, taking its materiel from a few different Rohirric poems. As I had anticipated, I found myself ready to ride to world's ending along with the Rohirrim. The charge of the Pelennor fields is an exquisitely worded passage in the book. I have read it a million times over, and it still gives me a shiver every time. The film interpretation lived up to the prose magnificently, and I confess I got just the tiniest bit choked up at that point, which seems odd, but Green Tea had the same experience, so at least I'm not alone. 5. Sam is my hero. Somehow despite all the gorgeous males in the movie (and there is no shortage of them), the character I have the biggest crush on is the Fat Hobbit. Sean Astin did me proud in this last installment, and I find myself overcome with the desire to give him a hug, even if he does cry too much. If I was forced (presumably at gunpoint) to name my favorite character in the entire saga of Lord of the Rings (both the book and the movie), I would name Sam. Of course there is also Gandalf, Theoden, Galadriel, Pippin and Farimir, but what can you do with a gun to your head? Tolkien himself said more than once that Sam was the real main character of the story, and also the one (aside from Bilbo) with whom he felt the most kinship. I think that kinship shows through in the way Tolkien wrote the character, whom I have always considered the most real of the hundreds that people the books. Sam's sweetness of nature, his humility, bravery and sense of wonder, not to mention his love for his master, endear him to me more thoroughly than any of the other characters, and I am pleased to say that Astin did a heart-wrenching job of conveying those qualities on-screen. I am especially fond of the expression on his face when he shares that long look with Frodo in the Houses of Healing (at least I assume that's where they are when Frodo first wakes up after being rescued). Also went into transports of sniffly delight at Sam's face when he kisses Rosie on their wedding day, and comes up smiling like he's never been so happy in his life. 6. I wish to thank whoever decided to include that moment of black silence right before Sam and Frodo were rescued by Gandalf and the Eagles from the slopes of Mount Doom. Regardless of what everyone else is saying about false endings, I feel that anyone who did not read the books and thought the movie ended there deserved a little panic attack. 7. Pretty much everything that took place after said panic-attack inducing moment has my seal of approval. Aside from the hobbits-bouncing-on-bed bit, which got a tad ridiculous after a minute or so. And I could have done without that horrified moment when I was sure Gimli was going to hop onto the bed as well. Oh, and let's not forget the dressing-gown that Aragorn was wearing in the same scene. Who told him he could go out in that? Arwen needs to dress him better. But really, nearly everything about that final section of the movie made me very happy. I love the return to the Shire (despite the fact that it is bereft of Scouring) and I think I may have cried just a little bit at Sam and Rosie's wedding. Okay, more than a little bit. A lot. I wept, okay? Bawled like a toddler with a skinned knee. (Speaking of which, I was sitting at my desk the Monday after seeing the movie and spontaneously thought of Sam saying "Rosie Cotton dancing with ribbons in her hair". I then proceeded to try very hard not to actually cry right there in my cube. Being me is so weird sometimes.) I also must mention my adoration of the moment when Frodo kisses Sam on the forehead. I may just be a complete sucker, but for me that whole five seconds or so had the air almost of sacred art. It was perfect. The relationship between those two characters is such a fine balance, and I thought that moment summed it up with extreme sensitivity and beauty. +++++ So that's pretty much all of my important thoughts on the movie. I still have few small complaints, like the fact that Aragorn can give stirring speeches on the battle-field, but when he is crowned, he suddenly loses all his public speaking skills. And I think I prefer scruffy, always-damp-but-never-really-bathes Ranger Aragorn to washed and lemon-scented King Elessar with his hair blow-dried straight. Oh, and this is beyond nit-picky, but I really don't think the Rohirrim and the Tower Guard would have all been ranked up together like that in the last battle scene. I suppose Jackson wanted to portray how the Men of the West were fighting together side-by-side and all that, but really the Rohirrim would have been mostly on horseback, and even if they weren't they just wouldn't be all mixed in with the Gondorians like that. It's untidy, and even the Rohirrim have some basic military precision. On a slightly different note, I am disturbed by the fact that several people online seem to be implying lately that Eowyn is cooler, more attractive, and in general more desirable than Arwen. Now, speaking entirely about the movies (because cannon Arwen has perhaps five lines in the entire story proper, and is mostly confined to the appendices) I would like to remind everyone of the following: 1.
Arwen can outride Ringwraiths, while Eowyn does almost no horseback riding
at all, despite being of the House of Eorl. Of course, I really love Eowyn, too. She was my favorite character in the books when I first read them as a teenager, and even though I now prefer her Gondorian better half I still love her. She is sometimes a little more angsty than I can put up with, perhaps more so in the book than in the movie, and this is the main reason why I have not listed her among my favorite characters in a long time. All the same, she is a very powerful character and none can deny her courage and strength. If nothing else, it is best to stay on the good side of a woman who can hack the head off a fell-beast. Oh, and I really do like Miranda Otto's freckles, I just wanted to make sure that someone spoke up for Arwen since I felt that she was not getting her due credit. Am now off to watch The Goonies and giggle madly at tiny, twelve-year-old Sean Astin with a geeky inhaler and horrendous special effects. Squee!
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